Honestly guys I have thought about taking my last post down so many times since I’ve published it. It’s really hard to open myself up, but I’ve decided that, at least for now, it will stay up. I’m afraid if I take down the post I will only withdraw further, and I’ll start to bottle up all these feelings again! As promised, this is my first update post where I’ll be talking about how I’m combatting these feelings of depression.
Before I start, I hope that I don’t sound very ungrateful because that isn’t the point of this series of blog posts. I make a point to pray out loud every night, and thank God for all that he’s given me. When something very real happens, like a parent dying, it affects a person for a very long time. Can you imagine? I was fifteen years old when my dad died! If you’re hating, you better cut me some slack.
I hope if any of my readers are on a similar journey they can find peace too. The great thing about living today is the massive amount of information out there for whatever issue you’re going through. There are support groups out there for you. Forums you can join. If you can talk about what you’re going through, you can help not only yourself but others too.
First of all, I want to talk a little about my dad. I miss him so much this Christmas season. He was such a great dad. One of the things I loved about him was how much he cared for animals. I remember bring home a little bunny once that got run over by a lawnmower. Half of its face was gone, but my dad still helped me care for it until it died. I wanted to bury him, but I think my dad was so upset he just threw him in the trash! Now when I think about I laugh, but I remember feeling so devastated.
I never know when grief is going to hit me, but I always know it’s an overwhelming feeling. Losing someone is such a big deal, whether it be through a divorce, separation, or death. I try not to let my grief take reign over my life, but it does cast a nasty, dark cloud on my mood sometimes. It helps to think about the people I have in my life right now, and make plans to spend time together. One of my goals for 2017 is to spend more time with my family.
The most important piece of advice I have for people who are grieving is this: it gets easier, but be prepared for it to get harder too. Holidays and special anniversaries are all triggers for me. Be extra kind to yourself, and if you ever need someone to talk to send me an email!
Now that we’re done with the heavy stuff, I want to talk about what I’m grateful for. I love reflecting on the good parts of my day; it always make me feel better. The truth is I have so much to be grateful for, that my heart swells with positivity when I take the time out to reflect. I usually end my days through prayer, (sometimes I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow!) and that’s the time of my day I’ll list the things I’m grateful. Below is a prayer I’ve been saying recently.
I’m thankful for the roof over my head and this warm bed of mine. Thank you for keeping my family safe, and watching over my husband in a state far away. Thank you for the chance to live and breath a new day! Thank you for making everything work perfectly so Danny could come home for Christmas. I’m so excited to get together with my family to celebrate Christmas this year.
As for the one thing I did this week that’s supposed to take me out of this funk, I started talking to a therapist. I’ll continue to update as the weeks go along.
I am so happy I get to share this series with all of you. Connecting with my readers is such a blessing, and I’m glad I started this blog more than a year ago! If you want to stay connected with me on my journey follow me on Twitter @dianametdannyco, and Instagram @dianametdanny.