How to Cope with Grief and Loss

Read me first: The purpose of this article is to share my experience with grief and most importantly be able to share ways I learned to cope with grief. These are healthy ways I learned to cope with loss on my own. I also spoke to a therapist who helped me sort out my feelings, as well. I believe that was extremely beneficial to me.

 

My Personal Experience

I never expected my dad to die when he did. Although I had experienced the loss of a grandparent before, that was nothing compared to the feelings of guilt and depression I felt after my father had died. Loss is a tough journey; whether it be a parent, a break-up, or loss of a job. In this blog post, I will be primarily talking about loss through death, although these tips are useful for any loss. Years have passed since my father died, but I’ve developed skills that I can use to cope with his death. Below are some of the coping techniques I used to help me.

Don’t bottle it up, cry if you have to!

For a long time after my dad died, I didn’t talk about it. At the time, I gave myself plenty of excuses why I didn’t have to talk to my mom or call my best friend. I don’t want to be sad the whole day; it’s already been so long since he died, and the worst one I don’t want anyone to see me cry. Even though I could have a seemingly normal day, my dad always seemed to be on my mind. Some days I felt like I all wanted was to cry, but I constantly held it in. I didn’t give enough value to my emotions; I constantly tried to cover them up. That is not the right way to handle things, remember you are worth it!

Turn it into a positive

It helps to get out of the house when you have too many negative feelings stirring inside of you. It’s okay to be sad but try to get some form of exercise every day, even if it is a walk around your neighborhood. Try to make it a ritual and something that you enjoy. When you’ve lost someone close to you, it is common to feel like you have to put the needs of others before your own. Join a gym, take a dance class, or even take out your bicycle for a spin. Even though you may not want to at the moment, it’s important to keep your health and well-being a number one priority in your life.

Write an email to that person

I’ve written my dad countless letters over the past years only to put them away and find them again later. My letters used to be full of anger towards him but writing those letters were a form of release for me. I started writing him emails because I realized no one would ever see them and I wouldn’t have to find them whenever I cleaned my room.  Since then my perspective has changed, and I no longer feel the anger I used to.

Treat yourself with love and kindness

 

Grief is not easy on anyone. Some days you will feel like you are taking two steps backward as opposed to a step forward. Always treat yourself with love and kindness. You are a human being capable of receiving love and giving love; that’s why death is so hard to process. These three coping techniques are great things to apply to your life, but time is a powerful healing tool. With time, acceptance begins to take shape. Trust me, you will get to that point.